What having daughters taught me about being Body Positive

Ive got 2 little girls, Sophia is 2 years old and Jaguar is 9 weeks old.

Despite their young age they have had a huge impact on how I feel about my body. An even bigger impact on how I show the world my feelings about my body.

We know kids are like sponges they absorb everything they see and hear. I expected the things my daughters pick up to have to do with learning and what they see on TV. I didn't realize that what they are absorbing is me.

My 2 year old loves playing dress up and spends her day pretending to put on her make up and serve coffee.  By watching her play I realize that she is learned how to put on her "makeup" by watching me.  How is a 2 year old so keen on her surroundings?

I took even bigger note of her mimicking skills after I saw her watching me weigh myself on our household scale.   She stopped all her playing and zeroed in on what

mommy was up to. I felt horrible. I did not want my child to inherit my battle with my weight and negative body image.  I especially did not want this battle to begin for her at the tender age of 2.

From that moment on I hid the scale and never weigh myself in front of the kids.  I always tell them they look great (my 5 year old boy too) and bask in the moment as they return the compliment.

I want to build my children's confidence and let their body positive view shine from within.   I know that my daughters will learn to see their bodies through the way I reflect on my own.

If I am proud of my curves and respect this body which birthed 3 amazing kids, then they will grow up to see themselves and others in a more positive light.

Sophia and I when she turned 1

Milkies Milk Saver review

Disclaimer: I received the product mentioned in this post in exchange for my honest and thorough review. All opinions are my own.


This week I had the awesome opportunity to review Milkies'  Milk Saver by Fairhaven Health.

 

Milk Saver's purpose is meant to do exactly what its name implies, to save breastmilk that comes from the non nursing  breast while you feed baby on the other breast. It comes with its own carrying case which serves a double purpose as a stand for the Milk Saver.  It is BPA and phthalates free and 100% safe container for your breastmilk. 

When I received the Milk Saver I wasn't sure what to expect.  But it was ready to use right away. Gave it a wash in warm soapy water and I was ready to see how much milk, if any, I would be able to save.

It can be easily placed inside your nursing tank or bra.

Here I am wearing the Milk Saver 

I felt comfortable wearing it, you just slip it into the bra over the breast.  Then I began feeding my 9 week old on the other side.  I fed her for a good 30 minutes to give my self enough time to see what milk would be saved.  I was expecting no more than a few drops.

When I took off the Milk Saver I was in absolute shock.  I had leaked half an ounce of precious breastmilk into the Milk Saver.  Half an ounce that would have been leaked straight into a breast pad.

The half ounce saved the first time I used the Milk Saver

Simply WOW.  Of course we all have  at certain times a heavy breast pad soaked in milk like when we first wake up, but leaking caused by the let down reflex never crossed my mind.

Over the next 4 days I was able to collect a total of 6 ounces by using the Milk Saver while breastfeeding. It takes me over a half an hour to pump 2 ounces. Saving 6 ounces by just wearing this while breastfeeding is amazing.  Every drop of breastmilk is precious and moms work very hard to get each drop.

One of the days I wore the Milk Saver during a feeding right after we woke up. During that feeding I leaked 2 ounces. 2 ounces that thanks to the Milk Saver went into a milk storage bag instead of into my breast pad.

2 ounces saved by wearing the Milk Saver

Its easy to use and easy to clean.  I feel it can hold a little over 2 ounces. It isn't totally invisible under clothes but it isn't poking out either.  Most importantly it does what it says it does.  It saves precious milk that would otherwise be leaked into a breast pad.  I really love using this product and will continue to use it during feedings and pumping sessions.

Check out the Milk Saver and other Milkie's products by going to their page mymilkies.com

Hospitals need to provide more Breastfeeding friendly supplies to new moms

I didn't even have nursing pads.

Adrian at 2 days old was receiving treatment for Jaundice and they sent me home. He needed to stay overnight. To my surprise I woke up completely engorged and the entire bed soaking wet. I didn't have breast pads, didn't even know what they were.

I reminisce back to the days after giving birth while at the hospital my nipples were on fire after having tried to breastfeed that first day. I hadn't packed any nipple cream and I wasn't offered any until much later and the damage had already been done.

Moms need support above all else. And they need information. and why not a little special treatment? Before the changes in NYS law regarding formula in hospitals it was wide spread practice to give formula samples and gift bag with formula. Why aren't we doing the same with breastfeeding supplies? I couldn't find any nipple cream in the supplies that the nurses made available. Sure I could ask for it. Imagine I'm a new mom with no real knowledge on breastfeeding, how would I even know to ask. Why aren't we sent home with breast milk bags and cream and nipple shields. Some hospitals used to give diaper bags full of formula. The support is not the same, even with all the policies changing.

I look at each of my pregnancies as a different stage of me learning how to breastfeed. But why did it have to take 3 pregnancies to get it right? Adrian, my first, had only a slim 3 months of breast milk .

We can do better to support women who choose to breastfeed . We can damn well do a much better job at helping breastfeeding become a realistic option. Not just a short term option either. We need to truly commit to supporting breastfeeding.

Six breastfeeding strategies from 16 Minute Club

Wendy from the breastfeeding subscription box service 16 Minute Club has been awesome enough to share with us a post on 6 important breastfeeding tips. When you're done reading be sure to check out her page. http://blog.16minuteclub.com/cms/blog/posts/six-successful-strategies-for-the-first-6-weeks-of-breastfeeding


Six Successful Strategies for the First 6 Weeks of BreastfeedingPosted on Dec 31

By Wendy

Six Successful Strategies for the First 6 Weeks of Breastfeeding

Developing a healthy nursing relationship with your newborn is crucial during the first six weeks of their life. Being sleep deprived and recovering from birth can make these first six weeks the hardest.

 Here are six strategies to keep in mind for the best breastfeeding success.

1.  Have a Lactation Consultant on Speed Dial:
 It is important to find a lactation consultant you like and trust before you give birth. They can be your rock during the first few weeks of breastfeeding. The lactation nurses at the hospital can be a good resource too, but the problem comes when there are too many nurses telling you to do different things. It can be overwhelming and not very helpful. This is why it is good to find one consultant beforehand that you can rely on for help while you are in the hospital and when you return home. Many consultants are more than happy to answer texts and questions all day long because they have a genuine love and care for new moms and babies. Don’t be afraid to ask for help constantly.

2.Attend a Breastfeeding Support Group:
Another helpful resource is a breastfeeding support group or a La Leche meeting. This is a great way to get any questions answered and to find new moms who are in the same boat as you. There are many women and articles that make breastfeeding look easy and painless, and that is not always the case. These group meetings will help motivate you to get past the hard weeks and remind you of the amazing reasons for breastfeeding in the first place.

3.Don’t Think About Supplementing Yet:
 Majority of babies go through a growing curve during their first month of life. Many hospitals will want to push supplementing right after birth because of jaundice or a lower birth rate. If the hospital is being too pushy, inform them that you are going to make an appointment with the baby’s doctor so that she can better access if there is a need to supplement or if the weight loss was just due to extra fluids from birth. Many doctors will also recommend supplementing if the baby has not grown by the two week mark. Again, it is important not to give in, but to instead ask if you can return at the baby’s six week mark to better assess the growth and need for supplementing. You can say that you prefer a second opinion from a different pediatrician. In some cases, supplementing is essential. However, for most new moms and babies, they just need the first six weeks to get the hang of things.

4.Nurse without a Schedule:
Schedules are a great thing for moms and babies, but they really should not be thought of until your milk supply is fully developed and the baby has grown a bit more. For the first six weeks, the word “schedule” should be thrown out of your vocabulary. Your baby will be going through a lot of changes the first six weeks, which requires a lot of nursing. As hard as it seems, it is just best to relax and nurse as much as possible.

5. Nourish Yourself:
 You are doing an amazing thing for your child by giving them the best milk. It is so important to remember to nourish yourself properly during this time. You need the best nutrients to help you heal from birth and produce the best milk. Soups made from homemade bone broth and healthy vegetables and meat can help keep you hydrated and provide you with the necessary vitamins and minerals you need. Another great and easy meal for mom’s health and milk supply is a smoothie made with coconut milk and coconut oil. Coconut milk will help hydrate you, while coconut oil provides your body and milk with much needed healthy fats. Stay away from sugar and processed foods, which can make your energy crash once the added sugar has left your blood stream.

6. Have a Good Support Team:
 Your spouse or partner can be valuable support for you during the first six weeks, but don’t just assume they know how to support you. Take your spouse or partner to lactation support meetings so that they can better assist you in breastfeeding. If people come over to visit the baby, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Any visitor can get you a glass of water, make you a quick meal, or do a simple chore. Most people will want to help, but they just don’t know how.

These six strategies will set you up for breastfeeding success during the first weeks. Remember, your only job is to take care of yourself and your baby, so don’t worry about laundry, cleaning, or other tasks that can wait.

Avoiding becoming the unsolicited advisor

Avoiding becoming the unsolicited advisor

I'm the first amongst my friends to have started having kids.  Now some of them are either on their first or pregnant with their first child.

I feel I've learned so much through my pregnancies and I get really excited about being able to share what I've learned.   But I have to remind myself that when I was still a new mom I wanted to learn on my own. I didn't like other mothers (my own ) to bombard me with advise. Despite it being well meaning and in no way geared towards making me feel inadequate it did result in making me feel like I was in over my head and didn't know what I was doing.

I chose to breastfeed.  I failed on my first attempt but really soared with my daughters.

Now I get so excited I want to tell all moms to be and all new mommies all I know about breastfeeding.  But again I need to hold back. To learn let them come to me.

A new mom is like a wilderness sprite. She cant be startled or she'll be scared away. Its such a strange time in our lives.  Most of us are pretty secure in our lives when suddenly motherhood turns it all upside down.

I figured it out, so will these new moms in my life. If they want my advice then I'm 100% here for them. And if they want to hear what I've got to say about breastfeeding than I'll be elated at the chance to share my thoughts.

But no one should be denied the chance to make their own mistakes.  To learn along their own path.  New mommies, it will get better. And when it feels it wont, know that you have people in your life who want only to help.

The value of a parent is not determined by whether they are stay at home parents or working parents.

Am on my third maternity leave currently taking care of my six week old baby.   This time feels different. I'm so comfortable, so happy being home taking care of my family that I am dreading going back.

I enjoy being a working mom. Yes, when it came time to go back to work during my last maternity leaves I felt sad at leaving them behind.  So young still , Sophia only 12 weeks old and Adrian close to three years old. Still I was glad to go back to work.  I had no routine at home. It was so hectic at home.  I dont feel guilty for being a working mom, I love my kids and love being able to provide for them.

During my first maternity leave I was dealing with all the novelties and difficulties of being a first time mom.  So much so that I spent most of it with my own mother just out of fear that I couldnt figure it out on my own.  

During my second maternity leave I was overwhelmed by having a toddler and a newborn.  I was learning to breastfeed and dealing with just staying sane.  I spent the first week of this time not even being able to sit up due to a spinal headache caused by the epidural during labor.  It wasn't a fun time.  I wasnt at my best mommy wise. It was survival mode through and through.

Now its baby number three. Of course I am facing a new lot of obstacles. But I also believe in myself a lot more. Ive got the hang of things in the breastfeeding department and I have the most important tool of all; I have a routine now.

This isn't to say that things are smooth sailing.  I believe happiness and harmony aren't the lack of havoc and difficulties.  No, happiness and harmony can be found when you learn to embrace the craziness, the hectic and the commotion that comes with being a mom.

I've developed a pride in keeping my home organized and clean but embraced that some days I might only be able to pass a disinfectant wipe over some door handles, while the rest of the house looks like my laundry exploded.

Some days are pure bliss. Baby Jaguar is content nursing quietly as Adrian is in school and Sophia plays happily with her tea set.

Other days its a page right out of Dante's Inferno.   But those days are just as precious and I am having difficulty trading them in for hours spent at a computer in a small office.

Wow 3 kids?!!! That's it right?!

As parents I think we all can agree that we become hyper sensitive to other peoples opinions.   We feel constantly judged on our parenting skills, approach and all other aspects of parenthood.  

When I had my first the pressure was on whether or not I was doing things the right way. After all the entire experience is new.  As a first time mom you worry if you are using the right lotions, the right diaper brand. You worry about everything.

Being a mother of 3 comes with its own unique sets of judgments and doubt.  Society looks at you differently.   I encountered a lot of comments such as "congratulations,  wow you guys kept real busy". A friend of my husband on his instagram actually posted a congratulations that ended by saying "take a break until the next one". Who does that?

Being a parent and especially being a mom is tough in our current society because some people don't know what neat little box to place you in.  Most of us are working moms, career women. Shouldnt you be focusing on your career and not on being a baby factory?  

I want to tell you there is nothing wrong with having more than one child. If you can provide for that child and provide them a safe environment to grow than it is no ones business how many you plan on having.

It is not OK and actually down right rude to tell a parent "that's it right, youre not planning

to have more right? ".

Surround yourself by kind people, stand up for yourself.  Dont let others doubts and insecurities be projected onto you and your family.

To the nay sayers in my life, I have three kids,  get over it.

Baby "Sip and See" Welcoming Party. 

With baby #3 we were unsure if we should have another baby shower.

With our first, Adrian, we threw our first baby shower. All guns ablazing. No matter the cost mentality.  It was our one and only at the time, go big or go home.  We took part of all the baby shower cliches.  Such as the wierd shower games and useless party favors that I'm sure made their way into people's "why do we have this?" pile once they got home.  Seriously,  who puts blue almonds in plastic blue painted baby shoe molds on a tiny pillow? New parents thats who.

With our second, Sophia,  it was our first attempt at a baby girl shower.  This time I really took the reins on what I wanted. Not what I was expected to do.  It was purple hues and florals, sure there was pink but not like a pepto bismal explosion.   I focused on making sure that things with true meaning were where we invested our efforts and money.  The favors were bamboo plants in pretty cube glass vases with pebbles.   To add a spurce of color each one had a single orchid stem (plastic) it came together very pretty and we used them as our center pieces as well. It was something people could take to their homes and enjoy for time to come.

Now with our third child and second girl, Jaguar,  we wondered if it was even proper to throw another shower, especially since the last one was only two years ago.  We had plenty of baby gear and so we knew we didn't want to make a big fancy party where people felt obligated to bring a gift.   We wanted to celebrate this new blessing but in a less stressful way.

So we took to pinterest and looked up baby welcomings and turns out its a real thing.  Mostly called a Sip and See. Lots of parents were looking for the same laid back after the birth celebrations like we were.

Last night was our Sip and See celebration for Jaguar and it was great.  It was exactly what we wanted relaxed get together where the attention was on the new baby.  Something about a newborn really melts people's heart.  She was the center of all conversation and all anyone wanted was to hold her.  We didnt spend much on decorations or needless favors.

We spruced up the place with a balloon arc which let me tell you was worth its wight in gold. It was bold big and beautiful so despite our minimal decor the space still looked decorated.  The next item I took pride in was the cake which was beautifully decorated with an owl theme.  I sent 4 pictures to be printed at Staples on their Engineer prints and for less than 12 bucks I had 4 large prints in black and white of Jaguar as a newborn in the hospital.

We were blessed with a great time and our guests honered the new baby with their presence. Some chose to bring gifts but out of the kindness of their heart not out of obligation.

It was such a wonderful moment that I know we made the right choice.

What no one warned me about having 3 kids

What no one warned me about having three kids.

There were lots of opinions when I announced my third pregnancy.  Somehow one was okay, two was expected but three was a shocker to some people. I received a lot of advice on how juggling three would be more difficult and how thin I'd be spreading myself.

However 6 weeks into being a mother of 3 I have faced things no one warned me about, no one even mentioned the constant worry and fear.

Adrian, my eldest, is in Kindergarten.  Kindergarten is ground zero for all sorts of germs and everything you DONT want your kids to get.

The chain of contagion is as follows. Other kids are sent sick to school, Adrian plays with said sick kid. Adrian comes home touches everyone and everything and so my poor Sophia catches whatever is going around in school.  Adrian is pretty healthy and fights off germs and infections easily.  Sophia is 2 years and a half and was breastfed until she was 2 years old. As a baby she was never sick (thank you breast milk nutrients).

Now add to this mix a newborn and enter panic mode ALL THE TIME.   I have never washed
my hands so obsessively in my life. I am single handedly responsible for Lysol disinfectant products stocks going up from my nonstop cleaning of all surfaces.  

No one was allowed in my house near the baby until recently from fear she'd catch a cold.  On top of everything this is one of the worst winters New York city has experienced recently.  

Jaguar is a winter baby, everyone was sick during a time she was a defenseless newborn.   And the kids are always giving each other one thing or the other and I stand back with Jaguar tightly held  in horror if one of them sneezes.

I was sure I'd breastfeed again but now I am even more committed because I want to shield her from everything.  

I'm sure this might not have anything to do with having 3 kids. I bet any mom has these fears with one or however many they might have.

But having kids is having your heart living outside of your body. And I've got mine split in three.

Moby wrap Review

  As I researched a more comfortable carrier I came across the Moby Wrap.  When I first saw the videos on it I thought there is no way I would be able to figure out how to wrap this thing.  I was sure I'd somehow drop my baby.

Then a friend recommended it and said it was very easy to use and that I should try it. Ever the skeptic I was still not convinced.  However what did it for me was the fact that now I am running around caring for THREE kids. The oldest is five and the middle child is only two.  Now I need my hands free more than ever.

So I took the plunge and ordered the Moby Wrap,  fully ready to return it. As I unwrapped this long fabric, at least 15 feet long my heart was racing I thought I will not be able to figure this out. But I stuck with it.

I looked at the instructions and put on a video from YouTube to help guide me. TOOK A DEEP BREATH  and started.

 I was only confused for about 5 minutes. I followed the direction and I cannot express how easy it was to figure out. Then we tested it with baby Jaguar and it was instant magic. Baby was comfortable and I felt comfortable.  Jaguar is 6 weeks old and 12 pounds and I could barely feel her.

The wrap is supposed to be good up till 45 pounds. Ive got a 2 year old shes 30 pounds what a great opportunity to test that claim. She fit! Set up the basic wrap and it took a little more effort but I was able to put her in and it did not kill my back.  She was all smiles. My 2 year old, Sophia, is used to walking every where so I dont need to put her in the wrap but I'm glad to know that Jaguar isnt going to outgrow the Moby anytime soon.

Look out for the update after we put the wrap to use and test it out.  I wanted to write about the initial experience.  The first time ever trying the wrap to see if its even worth getting and I can say I already love it.

FIRST TIME MOBY WRAP SCOPE

Took me 32 seconds to set up basic cradle wrap after practicing only a couple times, seriously about 5 minutes practice.

So comfortable and gender neutral style my husband was happy to try it on too

Was so impressed with how easy it is that I had my mom try it on too.

It gets 5 stars for first time user ease of set up.

Avent Day and Night disposable nursing pads review

When I purchased my new (for the third time) Avent manual breast pump in the box they included a sample nursing pad for their day amd night lines.

I usually use the Lansinoh disposable pads, have done so for a long time. I nursed my daughter for two years and am now nursing my newborn ( code name Jaguar).

I was excited to try them.  Since I've used the Lansinoh pads for so long and liked them I never would have purchased the Avent ones.  

Avent has one type of nursing pad for day use and another for night use.  The day one is thicker than the Lansinoh pads. These have the texture and feel of sanitary pads like the Always pads.  I didnt like the extra tough texture they felt unnecessarily thick.   The Avent pads felt like they would show through the shirt but they didnt despite the extra bulkiness.   They were effective at absorbing leakage and contained their form.  I wouldn't say the day Avent nursing pads were terrible but I wouldn't switch my current pads for these.

The night Avent pads were better than expected.   They were slightly bigger in diameter than the Lansinoh pads and still had that thicker feel to them like heavy flow sanitary pads but they too did not show through my t shirt. They absorbed any leakage overnight and staying in place with no problems.  They were comfortable and I would consider purchasing the night Avent pads for when Jaguar starts sleeping longer during the night and my body takes time to adjust to fewer night time feedings.


THE SCOPE ON AVENT NURSING PADS:

Both the day and the night Avent nursing pads come with an adhesive tape on the back to keep them in place.

Both were absorbant and held their shape.

Neither the day nor the night Avent pads snowed through the nursing bra. Once I put on a T shirt I could not see them.

Both have a bulky feel to them. Cotton on the side that goes on the skin but the outside appears like the back of a sanitary pad instead which I didn't like.

Overall I would say if you dont already have a preference or dont know which disposable nursing pads to use try these out. At the very least the night ones.