The value of a parent is not determined by whether they are stay at home parents or working parents.

Am on my third maternity leave currently taking care of my six week old baby.   This time feels different. I'm so comfortable, so happy being home taking care of my family that I am dreading going back.

I enjoy being a working mom. Yes, when it came time to go back to work during my last maternity leaves I felt sad at leaving them behind.  So young still , Sophia only 12 weeks old and Adrian close to three years old. Still I was glad to go back to work.  I had no routine at home. It was so hectic at home.  I dont feel guilty for being a working mom, I love my kids and love being able to provide for them.

During my first maternity leave I was dealing with all the novelties and difficulties of being a first time mom.  So much so that I spent most of it with my own mother just out of fear that I couldnt figure it out on my own.  

During my second maternity leave I was overwhelmed by having a toddler and a newborn.  I was learning to breastfeed and dealing with just staying sane.  I spent the first week of this time not even being able to sit up due to a spinal headache caused by the epidural during labor.  It wasn't a fun time.  I wasnt at my best mommy wise. It was survival mode through and through.

Now its baby number three. Of course I am facing a new lot of obstacles. But I also believe in myself a lot more. Ive got the hang of things in the breastfeeding department and I have the most important tool of all; I have a routine now.

This isn't to say that things are smooth sailing.  I believe happiness and harmony aren't the lack of havoc and difficulties.  No, happiness and harmony can be found when you learn to embrace the craziness, the hectic and the commotion that comes with being a mom.

I've developed a pride in keeping my home organized and clean but embraced that some days I might only be able to pass a disinfectant wipe over some door handles, while the rest of the house looks like my laundry exploded.

Some days are pure bliss. Baby Jaguar is content nursing quietly as Adrian is in school and Sophia plays happily with her tea set.

Other days its a page right out of Dante's Inferno.   But those days are just as precious and I am having difficulty trading them in for hours spent at a computer in a small office.